INCONCEIVABLY BLONDE....

I lie awake at night, wonder how you are, knowing you're so far away. So I fluff up my pillows, and I tug at the covers. Tomorrow's another day…. And I pretend that I'm smiling-- that I really believe it-- when I wake with the taste of your smile on my tongue. I walk through the house at night, wonder where you are, knowing you're too far away. So I sit in the kitchen in a tank top, sip cocoa to the ticking of the clock. Tomorrow's on its way…. And I make like I'm laughing-- that I can't wait to feel it-- when I wake with the warmth of your laughter in my ear. I go to sleep at night, wonder how you are, knowing you're just far away. So I scratch my dog good-night, and I stretch in the cool bed. Tomorrow I'll be okay…. And I laugh, 'cause I'm smiling-- and I just can't believe it-- when I wake with the smell of the sun on my face. (Written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez 10/20/96, published in 1997, rev. 7/22/10...

Why do I get quiet time? I'm not a child, you now. Won't go sulk in the corner because you don't wanna deal with it, because you lost a voice for what's inside, because you scared yourself and don't know what to do with your sticky pizza fingers anymore. Why do I get time out? It's not fair, you know. Won't go write rules down after class because you don't wanna feel it, because you lost the strength to do what's right, because you psyched yourself out and don't know what to do at recess anymore. Why do I get nothing? I'm still here, you know. Won't run home and cry to Mamma because you don't wanna fix it, because you're afraid of letting go again, because you shut yourself off and don't know what to do after school anymore. Why don't they teach stuff like this at school?   (Written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez)

I still smell you driving home, all alone, and I smile, 'cause you're still with me-- apart, yet, a part of me in my shirt, my skin, my hair-- you're not really there, yet I feel you stroking my hand, my back, my face as I grab the clutch at the light in a blush. I can taste you in the breeze on the road in the dark, and I know that you're with me you're so far away, but I hear your heartbeat goodnight pulling up to the house. I turn the key. I still see you in my bed, through the night, in my dreams, and I smile, 'cause you're at home with me. (Written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez 4/9/98, rev. 7/21/10)

Don't want too much-- you'll never get enough, left wiping away that lingering stale from your mouth with the back of your hand once the haze clears. Don't think too much-- you'll never know enough, left stretching away that lingering yawn from your limbs with the spread of your arm once the day breaks. Don't work too much-- you'll never do enough, left rubbing away that lingering dream from your eye with the tip of your pinky once the cover falls. Don't give too much-- you'll never be enough, left rinsing away that lingering shock from your heart with the splash of your tears once the alarm goes. Written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez

Use my head to spill out yours-- to let emotion run its course along my lips, inside my mouth, you shake and sweat with burn of truth. Use my heart to strengthen yours-- to let it cry and reach for more against my skin, deep down inside you cuddle close-- in me you hide. Use my soul to soothe with yours-- to keep those dreams and make you sure, amid the love all through my veins, you sleep in peace, smiling my name. (Written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez originally 9/26/96, rev 7/21/10)

Words never said. Could never choke them out. Bricks biling up at the base of my throat. Funny how the wall fell-- don't need to hide anymore. Flowing through free-- weightless, alive in my veins, sizzling my tongue, filling trembling mouth with oneness of being. Feelings never shown. Could never strip them bare. Winds whipping out at the backs of my legs. Funny how the blanket fell-- don't feel cold anymore. Shining through free-- glowing, hot in my mind, searing my skin, filling tearless eyes with oneness of knowing. Bodies never touched. Could never hold them back. Rains driving deep into the strands of my hair. Funny how the clothes fell-- don't feel naked anymore. Seeping through free-- glistening, washing my face, licking my heart, filling waiting arms with oneness of having. I can say them now. I can feel them now. I can touch them now. Funny how things happen…. (Written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez 7/20/96, rev. 7/26/10)

And I sit. And I scrunch. And I smooth. And I brush a loose hair from my face in the salty breeze. And I sit. And I stare. And I sigh. And I laugh a tear back from my eye in the lapping waves. And I sit. And I stretch. And I sprawl. And I make shell constellations in the midnight sand. And I stand. And I shake. And I smile. And I leave beach-covered sandals in the velvet moonlight. (written by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez 6/15/97, rev. 7/26/10)

These covers hide me in my bed-- I dig for shelter, bury my head, biting into all your "saids" unsaid. These covers hide me in my bed. These covers claim me through the night, caress and cradle-- hold me tight, stroke my heart-- it's taken flight. These covers claim me through the night. These covers make me so complete, they smooth my sane and trap your heat-- your soft familiar wraps my feet. These covers make me so complete. These covers with me, pour into you, I breathe your heartbeat. I feel it move. Hot, woven whispers whet me through-- these covers with me, uncovering you. (11/23/99, rev. 7/22/10)

In my arms you can stay as long as you like, so I can rock you gently to sleep in the sounds of the morning, cradling your head from all worry and care as my heartbeat soothes, rhythmically, quietly, back…and forth…. lines vanishing in trusting slumber in the crook of my love. In my arms you can stay as long as you need, so I can hold you so soft in the hush of the night, unfold your mind into the blanket of me. Keep you warm, safe from harm as you dream of the soon to be. Lullaby, my darling, so you can be strong enough and trust me enough to bear up your burdens. In my arms hold me tight, comes the light as you sleep, back and forth, fluff-up your soul and know WE BELONG. In my arms my heartbeat--a song you can feel; smooth away fears, nuzzle up to my soul and dream in first rays of our morning. Taste tomorrow's sweet taste on my skin, smell our new life begin-- where you belong, my dear love, hurry back to your home i...

I wrote these two poems before actually seeing my husband, before meeting him face-to-face…. Yes, more than 10 years ago, falling in love online wasn't quite the norm as it has grown into being today. In rereading these little poems today, on our 10 th Anniversary, I can honestly say my feelings have catapulted to a completely different plane of emotional and spiritual depth. Reflecting back on how crazy I was back then, taking a huge "leap of faith" in Falling in love with someone sight-unseen, long-distance, across state lines And totally just trusting my heart and the Spirit which kept prodding me forward, I thank God each and every day that I trusted "in the Lord and leaned not into (my) own Understanding" because He truly blessed me with one incredible man, my dearest and truest friend and companion and lover. He blessed me with a love so deep and true that healed me, brought great peace to my heart and soul, and clicked my other half snugly ...

Mikey, I remember you all the time, At the oddest moments, really. Like when we were singing along to Springsteen's "Born in the USA" while We watched fireworks on the 4 th of July-- YOU taught me to appreciate the poetry that is Springsteen…. And I just can't wrap my head around The fact that you're gone nearly 11 years. Gone. Not forgotten, just not right here, Laughing with me, singing with me, talking a bout "deep stuff" with me. Mulling over poetry and writing with me… GETTING me. Quoting goofy movie lines, belting out SARAH, HEART, Indigo Girls in the car, driving down the beach at night, cracking up at you being such a GUY Drinking thru a straw so daintily—batting your Incredibly lush lashes, darkly twinkling us into hysterics as we got high on chocolate cokes and great conversation. Good times, no, GREAT times…. Times worth remembering. Seems like just yesterday, when I bother to t hink back, but so much has change...