INCONCEIVABLY BLONDE....

Hey everyone!  Yes, I know I've been gone awhile from here--I've neglected my creative inner voice. BUT, I have had some very GOOD REASON.... So, it's my birthday today, so I had to take some time to share what's been going on and to try to get my writing bearings back on track a smidge. Reflecting upon my life, my self, my situation right now, I'm just so dang grateful.  Truly.  What a ride it's been!  I'm owning up to several things now that I'd like to freely share in the hopes of either contributing to the generalizable knowledge base, or to add a voice to my experience that might help or encourage or somehow help others. I'm not perfect, I'm not fake, I'm not holier-than-thou.  I don't pretend to be anything other than authentic, genuine, and sincere.  Period.  Oh, and blonde.  Can't forget that, LOL! I try, I succeed, and sometimes I fail.  OK, lately, I seem to be failing a LOT! Even failure has a silver lining, as it...

Another oldie revisited...again, from another chapter in my life.... I miss you. I had that dream again last night. Whispers prickling, tickling surrender into the back of my neck. So real I giggled in my sleep. I miss you. Warming flushes sweep my thoughts, my face, my heart at one wordless moment. Trapped by the burning black of your eyes. So real I gasped into my pillow. I miss you. Searing, rhythmic velvet tracing, teasing, tormenting constant, gentle spirals of hot everywhere. So real I cuddle closer in bed to make it last. I miss you. Cradling me tight against you and the low, hot roar of your bike. Nuzzle my throat, my chest, my hair in the salty breeze. So real I breathe the fading warmth of the sunset. I miss you. Clearing the haze of memory at morning's light. Struggle to stay in your arms at the beach awhile longer. So real your smoky taste lingers on my lips As I lazily stretch awake. I want that dream again. I miss you. Writ...

Look at me. Really. Look at me. When you look at me what do you see? Do you see what you want to see? Or everything I could be? Everything... except really me . Talk to me. Really. Talk to me. When you talk to me what do you say? "Come on over," or, "Go away!" "Do you want to come out and play?" Everything except "It's okay." Dance with me. Really. Dance with me. When you dance with me what do you do? Do you move how you want to move? Or do you sway to the beat and the groove? Everything... except you're in love. Listen to me. Really. Listen to me. When you listen to me what do you think? Do you listen as well as you think? Or do my moving lips wake up your kink? Everything. Except, I'm swollen pink. Come with me. Really . Come with me. When you come with me how do you feel ? Do you come undone as you start to feel? Or manage to keep both hands on the wheel? Everything... ...

I stand here, quaking, like those aspen you showed me, unfinishing the poem I cannot write. Quaking--to feel warmth in chilling breeze. Empty-handed, looking at Stars, wonder how they still manage to shine in the frigid night. Do You shiver in solitude? Can You get warm? Show me how.... I lie here, stroking my hair, like the wind in those mountains you brought me to, unfinishing the book I cannot read. Stroking--to feel passion in sterile room. Empty-handed, looking at Sunset, wonder how it still manages to paint vibrant on the dusty night. Do You  caress the land lovingly? Can You still feel? Show me how.... I turn here, streaming with tears, like that river we passed, unfinishing the song I cannot sing. Streaming--to feel whole in enormous bed. Empty-handed, looking at Waters, wonder how they still manage to surge through the endless night. Do You pour out your sadness? Can You forget? Show me how.... (For JMS, original draft 8/...

Another oldie revisited and reworked....from forever ago, it seems ;)  Enjoy!! EG I needed to come here to clear through the haze of my thoughts. To reach out and scratch your whiskery jaw, to see gold bits dance in the depths of your eyes-- the gold of the heart of a good man. And a good friend. I needed to stretch here To grab myself from within. To reach out and rub your weary head, to cradle you in my arms, to melt with the heat of your lips-- the heat of the heart of a good man. And a good friend. I needed to lie here to feel alive again. To reach out and tug on the back of your neck, to lick the pulse of your skin with my tongue, to revel in the cool thick of your hair, to moan in the strength of your hands-- the strength of the heart of a good man. And a good friend. I needed to see here to see where my life should go. To reach out and finger the cleft in your chin, to drown in the green of your life, to curl my toes in the soothe of your voice,...

Here's another old poem I dug up--this got posted and published back in 1996. Thought I'd take a moment to put it up here for y'all to see n stuff :)  Thanks for reading!! Driving  (originally written in 1996, rev. 1/24/11) Make me believe you’ll really hold my hand in silence forever. Push the tears back with your tongue as I kick at the bed. By my eyes you have heard all the good in the world and awaken that untitled song in my mind once again-- the one I never rap my fingers to in the car. The one with the faceless hand in the night that kneads me into choking back air-- it’s too thick. The one that takes voice in the last dripping note of the sky. Make me rely on the touch and the arm of another. Prop up my chin with your kiss as I cry in the crook of your arm. By my words you have seen all the good in the world and awaken that untitled song in my mind once again-- the one I never hum along with in the car. The one with the voi...