INCONCEIVABLY BLONDE....

These lines are observations/reflections of my mom from the perspective of me, an involved bystander, broken-hearted....It's one thing to have to come to terms with a disease that's beating your body, from the inside out, killing you....Then, on top of that, at the same time to have to also experience losing your memory, your control--how mind-blowing and excruciatingly painful--for yourself and your family! I can’t imagine the hell she’s suffering, only support, care, cry, observe, ponder, reflect, and pray--always pray. May God be merciful and grant my mother--my beautiful, brilliant, proud, accomplished, vibrant, giving, selfless, loving mother—peace, love, comfort, and meaningful time left with us and spare her the suffering and the torture of being trapped while feeling her body and mind break down.  Lord, please, hold, wrap, and keep her in Thine loving embrace, I'm begging....I pray they find a cure for cancer, and with each passing day my mom lives, I'm praying ...

Quick note before reading:   OK, I wrote this just reflecting on observations and conversations with and about what my mom's going thru with her treatment n stuff...I've never gone thru this, I think I'd be a BIGTIME wimp--my mom is AWESOME and such a COURAGEOUS person to endure this excruciating process--so I'm just venting a little.....this is therapeutic for me to help me process and understand, and I mean no offense, it's an artistic, healing process of creative expression.  I'm truly amazed by the juxtaposition and irony of healing through poisoning aspects of a disease and the entire process.  Thanks for reading! Killing to heal. That's what they're doing, That's what it feels like what it seems like when it burns thru my veins. Can't remember such pain! Close my eyes,  all the same Sick lump of... Well, well, un-well... what's this hell that I'm living night and day, day after day. Either way, puke and pray that...