INCONCEIVABLY BLONDE....

Quick note before reading:   OK, I wrote this just reflecting on observations and conversations with and about what my mom's going thru with her treatment n stuff...I've never gone thru this, I think I'd be a BIGTIME wimp--my mom is AWESOME and such a COURAGEOUS person to endure this excruciating process--so I'm just venting a little.....this is therapeutic for me to help me process and understand, and I mean no offense, it's an artistic, healing process of creative expression.  I'm truly amazed by the juxtaposition and irony of healing through poisoning aspects of a disease and the entire process.  Thanks for reading! Killing to heal. That's what they're doing, That's what it feels like what it seems like when it burns thru my veins. Can't remember such pain! Close my eyes,  all the same Sick lump of... Well, well, un-well... what's this hell that I'm living night and day, day after day. Either way, puke and pray that...

This is my absolutely favorite picture, and it sits on my desk at work.  Looking at it brings a smile to my face whenever I am down, it reminds me that I'm not alone, that I am loved, cherished, adored, and it showcases the beauty of where we live, the love we share, and the eternal commitment that binds us together forever.  How did I get such a handsome fella for my dearest friend, lover, husband, and soulmate :)  They say a picture says a thousand words--well, this one says that, and much more--at least to me. "How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways...."

Here I sit, back at work, another ordinary work week.... However ordinary it may be, I am grateful to have a cup overflowing once more, and I've spent the past couple of days digesting what exactly has filled my cup, my heart, and my soul.... Well, we had Stake Conference in my Stake this past weekend--for the Pompano Beach Florida Stake--and I found myself hardly able to wait to hear the speakers and the messages.  I feel like I've been running on empty lately, basically barely making it on the spiritual fumes in my nearly bone-dry tank.   Why was my "tank" bone-dry, you might ask? Part of it circumstantial, part of it my own tendencies to "shrink back" to regroup when faced with stressful, difficult, or unpleasant things, and part of it was simply time.  T-I-M-E (or, as one speaker referenced, "how love is spelled in today's world:  T-I-M-E.").  We have Stake Conference twice a year, and it was simply that time again to hear from our l...

Here's another old poem I dug up--this got posted and published back in 1996. Thought I'd take a moment to put it up here for y'all to see n stuff :)  Thanks for reading!! Driving  (originally written in 1996, rev. 1/24/11) Make me believe you’ll really hold my hand in silence forever. Push the tears back with your tongue as I kick at the bed. By my eyes you have heard all the good in the world and awaken that untitled song in my mind once again-- the one I never rap my fingers to in the car. The one with the faceless hand in the night that kneads me into choking back air-- it’s too thick. The one that takes voice in the last dripping note of the sky. Make me rely on the touch and the arm of another. Prop up my chin with your kiss as I cry in the crook of your arm. By my words you have seen all the good in the world and awaken that untitled song in my mind once again-- the one I never hum along with in the car. The one with the voi...

Hey there!  In the interest of trying to keep a minimum of at least one posting per week, I'm putting something up that I wrote a little over 2 years ago and never posted or circulated before.  Why?  Well, it was something very painful and deeply personal to me, and writing about it was healing/cathartic.  Also, in looking back, I'm simply amazed at the incredible changes that have happened over the the past two years--funny how things change, even in the face of a personal or family crisis.  Needless to say, I don't feel the way now that I did when I wrote this--which is precisely why I now can post this and reflect the change I've experienced in this relationship.  Not easy to do, that--but I'm doing it anyhow.  I'm blessed to have the honor of having the fine mother I do; but no mother is perfect, like no daughter or person is perfect....so I offer this very up-close-and-painfully-personal glimpse into something I'm still healing from. I'd encour...

Sometimes when words escape you tongue twists and tangles, scraping the mindless, mangled mouth-- yet nothing comes out-- strangling shout-- moving and stammering you, reducing your daily brilliance into blah blah blah blah . 'Scuse me? You heard me! Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! Say what?! Ugh!! What was that? Sorry, didn't quite catch that, sounds just squirming all over the place, feeling their way around, up and down, noise and sound bubbling, brewing, bouncing around inside my mouth, kickin' at my teeth to get out-- OWW!  Wow! Hey, now! Settle down! Now, where was I.... Ooooh, wait, what was that? Mmmm... Kinda tasty.... Not bad, not bad at all.... Don't nibble , bite , just chomp down . Like you mean it. You know you want it. Open up wide, now-- say, "Ahhhh." Mouth watering, dripping goodness oozing ripe fullness of being everything you wanna say or do, but won't, can't or don't, right ther...

Wave after waves whip back, flip over and over, and crash out on the shore, battered, beaten, and sore-- unable to take any more. Gradually, gingerly wash away the cares of yesterday, and bathe your feet, your mind, your soul in the cool possibility of tomorrow. Lapping away sorrow and pain, allowing you to being again, savoring the new-- if only for a few brief moments-- that only YOU get to feel, get to taste, get to know the wet wearing down the old, while soaking up the yet-to-be. Can't you see the point of it all right now? There! Out there , glistening in the shimmering, off in the distance as the swirling ripples bubble and foam, draping your toes in the ebb and flows of everyday woes, drift off with the seaweed. Roaming the currents, unhurried, slowed by bits of broken bottles tangled, intertwined amidst frayed rope swaying to and fro, calling, begging sweetly to the soft sand to splay,frolic and bask in the warmth that comes ...

Am I the only one who has absolutely NO IDEA where the year 2010 went??!!! Seriously, people, it flew by at like MEGA WARP SPEED!!!!! UGH! Massively DISLIKE! Especially since the most beautiful sunset I'd seen in a Looooong time was the VERY LAST ONE of the year!  Take a look at this: Is that GORGEOUS or what??!!  Wow..... Ok, that being said, now, I tried starting off the New Year right-- spent the evening/morning with family and friends--CHECK--errr, well, partially--Mom, Dad, and Brudooski are way over in Houston, while the Hubby and I are over here in SoFLA--so we were kindly enough invited to spend the New Year with Jon and Gilma at their swanky lil' pad down in Midtown, on Biscayne Bay...not bad, not bad at all!! Dress up all velvety-sparkly-painted pretty--CHECK! Did the traditional CHEERS thing--CHECK! Did the traditional KISS the loved one at the stroke of midnight--CHECK--I LOVVVVE this part, gettin to SMOOOCH my man :) Did the traditional watchin...