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Honey

  Written May 31, 2025, Rev. 6/2/2025 God am i  the stupid one,  I must be, just tell me. been living in dreams, for one, once again, Lord, instead of the present day blues.   Honest, I been doing all that I can for us,   living you (k)new to us,  warming up my voice thru us silly sing-time and dancing in MY new hoodie, once yours, in the kitchen. MINE! do ya like the view? I want to soak up all of you like a finely aged wine made more perfect with time. every quiver,  with every tremor,  every bead of  sweat,  i need the all of you,  lapping up the look of you,  sitting quiet, sitting pretty, purrrring away all softly, all comfy-like, and peaceful. nestled right into your lap. That's my place now. undefiant, unafraid. protected while petted. What you said at the start Own my heart Own my own soul Feels it,  it knows what you taste and you smell like.  Knows w hat you want,  what I need yes, indeed. Still I ...
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Safe House

 Written June 1, 2025, Rev 6/3/2025 Going back to my pillow fort,  a little burned, a little skinned, also a little happy but scared,  it's your dare now, so, I dare you. Share with me All of it, Pour it all on me. Double-dare you. Why do you keep hitting my heart, over and over mercilessly, pounding, revving me all racecar-like Pulsing,  start of an adventure. I want in, Beckon me,  invite me into. I promise not to touch,  tickle, Squeeze too much. I'm showing wide open,   but you, You hide behind those shadows too. Just pull back that membrane and Know,  I'll nibble gently,  but will never let go. Unless you make me.   Smash my face against mattress, Yet you, Ignite the fire that speaks to us thru The whispers,  images of Texts thru the night, My strength long gone,  Dare I give up this fight.... Sunburned and soul burned,  yet both willingly so.... Where do I go To release all this burn This fire,  lava. let m...
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Screaming out Loud

 Written May 31, 2025, Rev. 6/3/2025 Stretching,  rolling around in the  thought of you.    "Take me to your river,  I wanna go..... I wanna come here and give every part of me,   but there's blood on my hands  and my lips are unclean...." Feel the warning  burn of your beard  searing, healing  love softly whispered All along my neck,  my spine.   Your piercing gaze,   scared to death that this might be it,  he might...might just be my  everything and  beyond....  twitching,  stretching,  Please, just be kind to me. Almost can't stand the  grabbing, growing, pulling,   twisting sensation closer  and clenching between  the thighs of my heart.... Man, those eyes.... Laying prostrate at your feet,   fully extending back forward,   flattened on floor,   begging to given more....  more of whatever this is.   I...
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Duet

 Written May 31, 2025 And he taunts me,  fully haunts me,   says  what he wants me  to  spill on a page All my wisdom from age Well, hard fought, Conquered, won Yet my life's just begun Anew, focused. Do,  do come in, Water's fine, How you been? Share with me What,  how,  where, when You first felt it, The pulse, It's electric. Felt,  started talking. Since when Do you offer Safe shelter? To me? Who even does that these days? I stop,  listen,  stare At the text on the page on my phone. At my age I damn well know better Than bite at the morsel You stage.... Yet I fall, Falling still Into the night's thrill As my heart begins Pouring out rage. Rage of passion, unbridled suppression Submitting, I linger, assuage All my demons,  my hopes, Inhibitions in front of Anonymous stage. And I sit,  And I think, Mind's gone blank, Face gone pink Pink with knowing, Yet uncovering truth. Truth so real, It just guts me, feels li...
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Starstruck

 Written May 31, 2025 Why,  hello,  how are you? Are you just passing thru Wandering in Right this way Step right up.... Won't you? Take a seat Take your time Get (un)settled Unconfine Yourself fully Unwind Leave behind on my skin The hot breath of your day Exhale, breathe Find your way here Safe with me. Never fear Intertwining legs Under covers At dusk. Under the Peeking out stars Found us. Not yet Lovers. But yet Something. More. Tech yanked us together. Clicking quickly. Completely Magnetic. Fireflies glowing Anew Watery eyes shyly showing The words I dare not, Cannot say Yet But I feel it That buzz, warming, Knowing Your candle burns there Lighting Darkened paths From afar. Feeling out loud I'm not cocky, Nor proud Pouring, bleeding All of me Onto your page. Cradle,  cuddle My heart closer Befuddled mind Giggles softly May I nuzzle That bristle of chin At this stage? Cuz these soft fuzzy socks That I wear, I'm still cold Still afraid. Not nearly enough To feel w...
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Blowing Away

He turned 5 yesterday. My world, personal lil' hurricane of love. My heart, the one that daredevils-but-cares that-he-tap-dances-on and thru-my-soul, the one that lives like a livewire,  fully exposed, throbbing, laughing, breathing everything in, pandemic and Petri dish of the pre-k world, too-- Ughhhh, what can I do? Freeze Frame?   A spell to stop him from growing up while the brainiacs hurry up and de-pandemify our world so we can then go back to our regularly scheduled lives? Where's my bloody wand.... I can't even.... Soooo, Let him blow out that candle and re-light it, do it again and again and again (which I could honestly watch forever) each time feeling like the first time. Priceless. Perfect. My compass and my Why. Blowing away every time while we sing.  "Sing a song, make it simple...." Song of happy, of boy, of slime, of stinky feet,  of the megalodon and the alligator and the zombies that  always seem to follow right behind Mommy's car.... of ...
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Gratitude

Yes, I'm an Oingo Boingo fan. Yes, I love this song. Yes, I have so much to be grateful for. Like, laugh lines. Stretchmarks. Wrinkles and crinkles. Skin that sags more than is supple. Freckles on my face. Memories of all the joy and happiness and sunshine and laughter- mixed-with-seaweed and sea foam. Aches and pains, callouses to remind me how far I've come, where I've been, and "miles to go before I sleep." Tears, heartache, sorrow, loss, pain. Isolation, loneliness. Fatigue. Loss of hope. Loss of love. Loss of family. Loss of friends. Holding hands with ones who pass from this dimension onto the next, leaving me behind to mourn and carry on. Muscle memory, stored with the thousands of hugs and squeezes, and pats on the back. Also for bruises, scars, lacerations, tears from dog bites, car accidents, stab wounds, sports injuries and breaks, fights, rape, and other superficial yet traumatizing ticks of life's clock. After all, h...
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Continuity

Seems logic has flown Reality has shown some mighty unreal hands as of late. But I hate to ramble on  and take up your time. It is what it is, after all,  according to stoicism --and news flash:  I'm the world's WORST STOIC. EVER. However, one concept that stands out  that I must better embrace is "Amor Fati--love it all" --in other words, take the bad with the good and love it all, however you can.    Damn, that's a hard one for me right now.  Learning to embrace the suck  right along with the stuff that almost sucks life away too...woo hoo!!!  Sorry, my rose-colored glasses  I nearly always wear  were steamrolled,  torched, and  blew away in a tornado  that tore through my life.   But, alas, life goes on,  and so must the show,  and so must I.   Time's the one thing  of which we don't have nearly enough. I should know. It's my business. To be in the know. To b...
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