Ground


So….
Here we go again…
Yes, again.
Reality hurts--
slow me down
climbing the stairs
click pavers hard
under heel
grudge me grab the door
and pull me away
from my senses into….

Closer, getting closer…
turn and RUN--
Get OUT
Get OUT
Get OUT!!!
Shouting silently
pull the door to me
bracing self against
worn iron bar that's handling
One last breath of fresh—
Can I handle this struggle
inside?
Can I hide
this revulsion I feel—
turning, steele myself
against the artificial
cooling my face into well-being.
for the moment

Mind no longer screaming
just numb
rearrange features
into smiling and saying
"Good morning"
Not in shock
just in moving through
the doorway that
engulfs me in
numb
Just a job.
Twitching lippery
turns upward,
remembering how to feel
in fluorescent light

Just a job,
not a career--
what a difference….
What do I do with THAT?
What would you like me to say?
I'm okay?
I won't lie,
so don't try
to make me like this
part I must play.
Oh, yeah,
I'll play it all right.
For now….

Cock my brow, chuckle low
In my throat—just a JOKE
that's not funny.
To you….
(But true)
Am I socially keeping you?
JUST GO!!!
Don't you know you can
always meet more? Sure!
Out of sight,
out of mind,
out of feel—so surreal
to feel this way
every day.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Automatic.
Plop my papers
lean over and slump
in my chair, staring out
my sliver of window
Well?
What do you want from me now?
Acid tongue of my mind
sharpens words to the point.

As Indoor and outdoor me
await the reply
stretch and sigh,
minimize the screen of time,
Click!
Go take a bathroom break,
wipe and flush these
Frenzied thoughts in my head
Wash my frustrations
work, instead.
Grab a drink,
Just don't think.
Be right back….

Written 9/23/08
Copyright ©2010 by Eliza Jane Farley Gomez

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OK, y'all have been kind enough to "hear me out"& n stuff, so let me know whatcha think, if I've rattled yer cage, voiced a shared thought or concern, or if you're gonna attain Enlightenment upon reading these DEEP THOUGHTS, or if ya think I'm just plumb WACKO--but please be decent in your expression of your sentiments, there's no need to sling mud, unless we're in POTTERY CLASS or at the BEACH! Thanks for reading n stuff...Laters!

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